On to
Jesus I surrender . all to Him I freely give ♫
Only
this time I freely gave to another
This
time I surrendered to a god
Who
was lesser than the God I should
Have
freely given to ,
better
yet totally surrendered to to begin with
I
took my heart
and
I handed it over
And
like a child ,
my
body, spirit and soul run excitedly away with it
He
said it was love
And
it seemed the kind that sorta looked like it
The
hopeless romantic that I am was smitten
He
had me on slow long walks in the night
Beautiful
morning messages
Sweet
words before goodnight
Brutally
spoiling me with gifts
Checking
up on me on the regular
Regular
calls
Regular
balls
Regular…
Just
regular stuff
He
said he would do anything for me
Even
catch a grenade for me ♫
But
I was juggling chain saws
When
I made him
Make
me
Make
us
Make him
Compete
our time with God
And
as I was busy litigating emotions with God
He
became like a parasite
And
made me his host
He
was like an irrepressible, resilient, co-dependent, domineering, self
destructive bacteria
And
I freely surrendered,
No I freely gave
Better
yet….,
I
totally donated myself to be his host
I
knew something wasn’t right , am not that dumb
It
was wrong from the very beginning
He
had danger in his eyes
His
smirk and wink proved it
His
look wouldn’t jinx it
His
words echoed caution
His
actions switched the red the lights
I
wasn’t too dazed to recognize these sights
And
My spirit, it wldnt stop the Warning
beeps
But
I looked past the lights
I
counted it as a slight
I
saw a war in sight
Pretended
I had no frights
I
was up for this fight
I
would dodge every smite
Throw
my fist with all my might
Draw
a sword like a knight
Win
this war with all delight
But
to be truthful I was a lover lost in heights
But
trading Him for God,
I
mean God for Him was tantamount to psychopathic tendencies
In
a blink of my eye ,He ld lie , cheat, yell, hit me and say he loved me
Correct
me if im slow
Cuz
HE , He taught me
Love
is patient ,and is kind
Does
not envy, doesn’t boast
Is
not proud, not rude
Not
self seeking, not easily angered
Keeps
no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil
Rejoices
with truth.
Always
protects, always trusts
Always
hopes, always perseveres
And
NEVER fails
But
this love failed constantly
Doing
the opposite of evryth He said
A
chord of 3 strands can’t be easily broken
But
this chord easily crushed
Because
the first and most important chord was not even existent
I
made the man my god
A
god of a man when he wasn’t even a man of God
Much
less be a god of a god
The
absurdity of relegating God to the background
To
make him my god
The
nod of an ungodly rod
gnawed
the glory of unflawed god
I
made the man my god in place of God
I
….., made him
Make
me
Make
us
Make him do this
Don’t
get me wrong,
In
my heart I knew I loved God
Or
at least like most people I flirted with the idea of loving Him
I
mean I still went to church
Said
my prayers often
When
I wake, before I sleep, and at meal times
Even
though often after my first bite
Loving him yet giving him a bit of my heart
See
I made them rivals
Battling
love between my lovers
my
man and my God.
Forgetting
that a master is to be served well one at a time never two
But
thinking that everything
Would metamorphosize its own way into
redemption
Was as ridiculous as seeing a pregnant 5year
old
Or a 90 year old in sagging jeans and baggy
shirts
But I discovered this, that dancing in the
tune of hot and cold
Was a like progressive disorder, an acute
syndrome, a canker, a fatal disease
Like Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s or cystic
fibrosis
But this disease couldn’t be managed
Had no drugs to repress it
No injections to reduce the side effects.
It
was like Chewing gum.
It
tastes sweet until you bite your tongue
I
was as uncomfortable as a baby in a wet diaper
But
this baby had a nappy rash.
The
kind that’s nasty
Spreading
to all areas of the butt so i cldnt even sit
If
you think sitting in sin is hard on a Christian’s conscience
Try
tiptoeing through it .
The darkness makes you
Miss a step and shift a foot and stumble often.
U
scrape your knee and sprain you ankle
And
the bruises of the physical is nothing compared to
The
harm to soul
I
needed no doctor to tell me..
The truth There had to be a theatre
There had to be the bright lights
I surrendered for his surgery
His scalpel cut through my soul
His forceps grabbed, maneuvered and removed
my willful sins
He washed me with blood so hot it gave no
room for the cold
I surrendered all
The dude I had made god,
The excuses I thought aloud
The sin my body did applaud
I surrendered me.
And he ,
He gave His son to save me
His spirit to fill me
His word to guide me
And so every moment I surrender
And every new surrender
Is better than the first surrender
Its my heart being rendered
Affording his sanctified tender
And so
like the many other times moments, again I surrender
But
only this time I am freely giving to another
This
time I’m surrendering to a God
Who
was more than the god I shouldn’t
Have
freely given to,
Better
yet shouldn’t have totally surrendered to to begin with
I
am taking my heart
And
I’m handing it over
And
like a child
If
my body, spirit and soul run excitedly away with it,
Am
assured
In
fact am unquestionably, undeniably, undoubtedly
Without
a hint a doubt know
Know
ifs ands or buts
I
know
it
will be safe
Safe
in the Lords hands
